Pi Day 2011

Sean and Gavin made signs to celebrate Pi Day. Here is Sean ready to devour our pizza that we got for lunch. You know, pizza pie?

Here is Gavin's sign for Pi Day. It's hard to read but it says, "Sine cosine cosine sine.

3.14159. Yay, Pi!"

After dinner, the family went to Marie Callendar's to get some actual pie. The boys were thrilled that they each got to order a piece ("Chocolate Satin" for both, which was pronounced Satan for a good portion of the time.)

Grace was happy to celebrate Pi Day as well. Pie and ice cream is a pretty decent way to top off a meal.

Gavin could not wait for his goodies. Our event was so fun, but the bill was astounding. $35 for pie for five people, only one of which was a la mode and one cup of tea. The rest drank waters. Oh well, it was a wonderful family experience and we're glad we did it. We just need to save up for next year's Pi Day Extravaganza!

The Naked Truth about Nudity

There has been much talk recently at our house about nudity. You'd think, as a general rule, this topic wouldn't get much play, but there has been some discussion. Inasmuch as the incidents involving nudity were comical enough to write about, the whole topic got me pondering the idea of nudity, and I think there are some nuggets of truth (thank you!) that can be gleaned from a study of nakedness.

1. The younger you are, the more comfortable you are with nudity.

Gavin and Sean have no problems with personal nudity. They would be naked all the time if they could (Gavin more than Sean), and for the most part they are equal opportunity nudists. They will walk around naked both before and after a bath to ask questions, get a drink, whatever, not realizing that others -- namely their sister -- would prefer they not. Their utter lack of concern about loin girding prompted the funny Facebook entry a while back where Grace commented that "naked people should not skip." She's right, but they don't seem fazed by all the hubbub. Gavin even intimated that at some point he would love to live where everyone was naked all the time. When Grace said there was no way she would ever visit him then, he seemed genuinely crushed.

I cannot tell you how many times I've wondered where one of the boys is after his bath and have found him reading a book on his bedroom floor, completely nude. "Why aren't you dressed for bed, honey?" I ask. "Oh, I forgot." Really? Forgot to put clothes on? Again, for them, there is something delightful and completely natural about being naked. There is no stigma, no self-consciousness, no desire to show off, perform or freak anyone out. The fact that Grace does get freaked out is strange to them (and is for the most part hilarious to us).

2. Tweenagers cannot abide nudity.

Grace is at that tender age where she is transitioning to the realm of adulthood. For her, any amount of nudity is enough to clear her out of a room. She also cannot abide embarrassing situations within a movie's storyline or deeply romantic scenes. These scenes just serve to embarrass her and remind her that she will soon be experiencing emotions on a different level and that things that used to be harmless between friends (talking with boys, physical contact -- hugs, thwacks on the arm, etc.) are now going to be fraught with meaning. Nudity has significance, and she is beginning to see that. So she spends time hiding herself (both literally and figuratively) by her clothing choices and screeching, "Please knock!" when the boys try to get into the bathroom to wash their hands while she's in there when just a year ago she didn't care. All of these feelings of hers are perfectly normal; they are part of the steps we go through to adjust to adulthood and how we grow in our understanding of how the world works. It also reminds us of our fallen state and how nudity for adults does mean something different than it does for kids.

3. Adults usually can put nudity in context, but sometimes nudity can still surprise them.

I had the funniest experience at the Theater during a performance of the musical Hair! I had no clue ahead of time that there would be actual nudity within the performance. The ticket said "Mature Content," but I took this to mean that the performers would swear a lot or there would be some bawdy comedy. I was prepared for either of those situations. I was not prepared for all the performers to be naked on the stage at the same time.

My initial reaction to the actors' nudity was shock and then embarrassment -- not for them, but for me, potentially, because this was an audience-participation show and we were in the front row (not kidding). I was suddenly petrified that I would have to deal with nudity square in the face (again, not kidding) and my insecurities about the subject would surface. When it was safe again, I began to marvel at the actors' willingness to brave it all, as it were, for this production. What must go through their heads each time they strip down? Can they be in character so deeply that this action is simply a reaction and doesn't require deep soul-searching or preparation? I tried to be cool during their scene, but I'll admit I was squirming in my seat. Is my own embarrassment about nudity and self-consciousness to blame? Perhaps.

Grant had a great time during the performance and seemed perfectly fine and not uncomfortable in the least. Of course, he knew ahead of time that there would be nudity -- "How could you not know?" he chided. "This show caused a huge scandal on Broadway when it debuted for exactly this reason." I admit I am a bit behind in my musical theater, and I am glad that I got to see this show. But I thought about his reaction against my own. My husband isn't bothered by nudity at all. Ever. It's something he doesn't peg with shame or embarrassment, so he doesn't get flustered or attach hidden meanings to it. People can simply be naked.

For me, the nudity made me think. It was not in the production for mere shock value as so many nude scenes are in movies and on television. For days afterwards, I thought about the show and its use of the human form. I was affected by the nudity -- not in the "Oh Lawdy, cover my eyes" sense but how the actors used it to convey what the show was really about: vulnerability. It got me thinking about what being naked can mean for an adult. The human who bares it all really is stripping away all pretenses and defenses for another person and is showing the essence of the person he or she is inside. Grace is beginning to see that vulnerability in nudity so she hides herself. She knows that nudity can be compromising. She sees that part of the self is exposed when our skin is exposed, and this is a valuable lesson. I think the actors on the stage wanted to showcase that -- exploit it even --as their characters were being exploited and used for a war they did not believe in. Their nudity was symbolic -- they wanted everyone to "see" them and realize that they were just people first, in the very purest sense of the word.

So, these are the thoughts that naked people bring to the mind in the Mosher home: deep thoughts, philosophical thoughts, emotional thoughts and then the boys and their love of being naked. The boys' quest for nudity does not involve compromise or vulnerability or a loss of identity. It is merely them, only naked-er. For now they are happy and innocent and content to spend their time after the bath reading, playing and, alas, skipping.

Targeted Behavior

I love Target. Target is one of those places we visit frequently and where I could drop $500 a month easily. I don’t, but I could. I’m just saying. I love that I can find Halloween costumes, a bicycle pump, moisturizer, scotch tape and Ho-Hos all in the same place. While we were tooling around the new grocery section on a recent pilgrimage, a mom with two small children called out to Grant to ask if he could help her reach some wine bottles on an upper shelf. My husband being the affable guy he is said sure and got them down for her.

Now, Grant is happy to help others, and someone asking for his help isn’t the most blog-worthy thing in the world, so you might be wondering why I am commenting on this. Well, the reason the woman chose Grant to help her is the reason for this post. The woman said she felt comfortable asking Grant for help because she had heard him yelling at our kids and she totally understood. Apparently, after overhearing Grant talking to the kids (she said yelling), she felt a particular kinship with Grant and felt confident asking him for help. Weird! We decided that the request, couched in her terms, was indeed strange, for many reasons including the following:

#1. Grant wasn’t yelling at the kids. I have heard my husband yell, and believe me, it is not a subtle thing. You will know when he is. Instead, he was telling them in a rather stern voice that he was tired of their not listening and following directions and would they please follow the cart so as not to get lost and so that he could tell them where we were going next. Taking twins with ADHD (one who cannot stop talking and the other who could get lost in a closet) out anywhere is a challenge, and I’m the first to admit, it’s easy to lose patience with them, but Grant’s voice was nowhere near a code red.

This woman could have referred to his “reprimanding” or could have said, “I overheard you talking to your kids, and I totally sympathize,” or she could have NOT SAID ANYTHING AT ALL and given him a knowing smile or a nod of understanding. However, even those options seem weird. Why not just ask Grant for help with no commentary? Most people ask for a simple favor without needing to invoke the “it’s okay if you lost patience with your kids” club membership. Perhaps she thought Grant would be embarrassed that someone overheard him, so she was trying to say that it was okay. Maybe she had just laid into her kids and she wanted to feel better herself. Not sure. But it seems that using eavesdropping as a basis for a request conveys the idea that Grant will be obliged to help her out of guilt at his “lapse” and that to refuse her really means he’s guilty.

#2. She commented on our parenting skills, even if it was to show solidarity. I’ll admit that I assume – incorrectly, of course – that all of my parenting moments take place in a vacuum. I know this is not true, but I’ve really never had anyone comment or applaud after I do or say something. Most just go on their merry way, judging silently, (which is what I do). I’ve overheard other parents in a store doing something that I wouldn’t do, but I keep these comments to myself. I think, “Wow. She’s stressed. Been there,” or occasionally: “Wow. I’m so glad I’m not her kid;” or “Wow. That was a great way to handle that question. Gotta remember that.” I think it is part of human nature to assess others’ parenting styles and solutions because we are searching for ways to validate ours. However, we don’t normally comment out loud to the other parent or rate them or say, “Because of what you did, you are now beholden to me for a brief amount of time.”

#3. The woman really wanted her wine. I feel her pain. I really do. She had two little ones in her cart and she couldn’t reach the top shelf. Dammit! So, rather than going on a search for the closest Target employee, she found the closest human who could actually reach the stuff. She wanted/needed those particular bottles, and Grant was the key to her getting her booze. Okay, perhaps I’m overdoing it, but it does seem as if she pulled out all the stops to just get this one thing done. I do know how she feels. When you are running errands by yourself with lots of kids hanging in and out of your cart, sometimes you just have to say, “I’m overwhelmed; please help me” so that you can get your errand done and go home. Maybe she was at that point. I’m just not sure why she didn’t just politely ask for a hand and then say thank you and move on. Wine causes people to do crazy things, but that’s usually after you drink it.

This poor woman. She’s in my blog now and all she wanted was a little help. I don’t think she planned on being judged, nor do I think she really meant any harm by what she said. It’s just another instance where human beings try to connect on some level but miss. We have all said things in a way that was misconstrued by the person on the other end. Sometimes the baggage we bring to an encounter keeps us from understanding someone’s true motivations or message. Ah well. Just another day at Target. Next time we’ll stay out of the wine aisle and keep our voices down.